June is Pride month around the globe, and this year is particularly significant to Thailand as the country recently legalised equal marriage. Mr Carter Xuan Duong, together with his spouse, HE Remco van Wijngaarden, the Netherland’s ambassador to Thailand, moved into their beautiful Dutch residence on Wireless Road in 2021. Elite+ sat down with Mr Carter, who is a strong advocate for equal rights on gender, orientation, race and religion, to discuss his passions, family and charity work.
Mr Carter Xuan Duong was born in Vientiane, Laos in 1977, to a Vietnamese mother and American diplomat father. He recalled his childhood, saying, “My mother, who worked in Laos, was imprisoned by the communists while pregnant with me and lost contact with my father amidst the post-war turmoil. After I was born, she fled to Thailand with nothing but me in her arms. We found shelter in refugee camps and were eventually accepted as asylum seekers in the Netherlands.
Now, decades later, I find myself back in Thailand, living in a beautiful embassy residence just a mile from the refugee camp where my mother and I once stayed. Life has come full circle. In 1980, we moved to Oisterwijk, a small Dutch village. Growing up Asian in a predominantly white community was not always easy. Television became my escape and eventually my passion.”
Mr Carter pursued journalism and music management in his early career."When I moved to Amsterdam, I began my professional career in a junior position at a Dutch TV network. Over nearly two decades, I rose to become head of a national TV network, responsible for programming, ratings, press and marketing. I travelled the world, attended glamorous events and met celebrities such as Mariah Carey, Britney Spears and Chris Pratt. My passion became my success story.”
He went on, “My next passion turned out to be family, which was something I once thought impossible as a gay man. In 2010, I met my husband Remco in Amsterdam, where he was posted as a diplomat. It was love at first sight. He is my soulmate, the one who taught me to communicate and embrace life more fully. We married in 2015 in Amsterdam, on the auspicious date of 08/08/2015 as number 8 symbolises infinity and luck in Chinese numerology.
“Remco, born in the Netherlands, grew up in Madagascar, where his father managed a Dutch radio station. Remco later became a diplomat, with postings in Lagos, Kosovo, Jakarta, Geneva, New York and Shanghai. The past four years, he has served as the Dutch ambassador to Thailand, Cambodia and Laos. Ironically, his grandmother once worked as a housekeeper for the Thai ambassador in the Netherlands. Another full circle.”
Touching on the subject of the modern family, Mr Carter proudly shared, “We now have three wonderful children, Ella, eight years old, and twins Cooper and Lily, who are six. We also have two rescued dogs, a brown Labrador from Shanghai and a teacup Pomeranian from Chiang Mai. I became a stay-at-home dad when we moved to Shanghai, and now I juggle the daily chaos of school drop-offs, birthday parties and bedtime stories, just like any other parent.
“We are a rainbow family, with two dads, three kids and two dogs -- happily living a life filled with love and purpose. Yes, we face occasional prejudice, especially online, but we receive far more support than hate. Thai society, in particular, has shown us warmth and kindness. Social media has helped us spread visibility and awareness, and we use our platforms to share positivity and love.”
He passionately continued, “I am incredibly proud that Thailand recently became the first country in Southeast Asia to legalise equal marriage. It is historic and heartening to witness this progress while living here. The Netherlands was the first country where marriage equality was legalised in 2001. My message to those opposed to marriage equality is simple. It does not affect you unless you choose to marry someone of the same gender. So, let people live in peace. Equal rights should be universal, regardless of gender, orientation, race or religion.
“Remco and I attended the first Thai weddings under the new equal marriage law. Many couples had waited decades. It was deeply moving and symbolic of how far the country has come. This June, we will proudly join the Thai Pride Walk as a Dutch rainbow family, celebrating this landmark step forward with the Dutch Embassy and local communities.
“Still, there are too many countries where same-sex love is criminalized, even punishable by death. Thailand’s progressive step is a beacon of hope and a message to the world about kindness and progress. We’re grateful to live here during such a transformative time.”
When asked about his work to promote cultural relations between Thailand and the Netherlands, Mr Carter answered, “I am proud of the work my husband and his embassy team are doing to strengthen the Dutch-Thai relationship, where this alliance dates back over 420 years. Their focus includes trade, agriculture, water management, bike safety and plastic waste reduction. The Embassy also supports human rights and hosts events promoting equality.”
On a more personal note, he went on to explain his charity work. “I have dedicated myself to several charitable efforts in Thailand. I am a goodwill ambassador for two foundations: Philanthropy Connections, which supports children in need in Thailand and Cambodia, and the Thai Child Development Foundation (TCDF), which provides access to healthcare and education in remote areas. Last year, we raised 2.5 million baht during a charity dinner at our residence, which I am immensely proud of.
“I am also active in other initiatives. These include serving on the organising committee of the Thai Silk Fashion Show. I am also a member of SHOM (Spouses of Heads of Mission), and currently on the board of the organising committee of the YWCA Diplomatic Bazaar, which will host its 70th Diplomatic Charity Bazaar this year to support underprivileged women and children. Giving back to the Thai community feels like closing another full circle, especially considering how Thailand once gave refuge to my mother and me.
“Our children are learning by example. This year, they asked for donations instead of toys at their birthday parties, raising over 100,000 baht. Their compassion makes me incredibly proud.”
As we concluded our interview, Mr Carter said, “We have now lived in Bangkok for four years and have truly fallen in love with the country. The people, food, culture, nature and balance of city and serenity have given us a life filled with joy and unforgettable memories. Our children love their school, and we’ve made this place our home.
“As our time in Thailand nears its end, I know it will be difficult to say goodbye. But Thailand will always hold a special place in our hearts. This has been the adventure of a lifetime, and I know there are still more dreams and full circle moments waiting ahead.”
